Koenigsegg CCR

Whilst I'd certainly not be interested in perpetrating the act, I've always found stories of bank robberies and heists quite fascinating. Some great films centre their whole plot around the action, the planning, the detail. But for every tale of high-tech larceny of Cézanne and Degas paintings from a museum, will be a sorry story of ham-fisted bunglers using JCB's to take jewels from a tent on the Thames.

Once talking to the branch manager of Lloyds Bank in Baker Street, he told me about an audacious plan to steal from the vault below, by breaking into the shop next door and drilling through. I thought this was some old wives' tale. And then five years later they made it into a film.

Anyway....so I'm walking along Sloane Street with my pal, and to be honest I'm dying for the toilet. Knowing that the Jumeirah Hotel is round the corner and that they always have some nice cars nearby, like this Koenigsegg, we stroll straight in and I use the facilities that I haven't paid for.

On the way back out, I notice a sign:

'The Hotel Management would like to apologise for any concern our guests would have had after the incident we experienced this morning.'

Hmmm. I walk towards the entrance and see three men replacing a plate glass window.

'What happened, mate?'
"Three fellas ram raided the window with a mota' and then nicked all the stuff from the jewellry shop."
'Yer kidding...'
"Nope. They all got caught half hour later. They done the ova' shop up the street innit the ova' day..."
'Hey? How can you get a car off the street, through the small alley, past the columns, into the window........and with all these nice cars parked outside...?'

The Koenigsegg CCR. It's a very undemonstrative looking supercar in many ways. The wrap-around 'Oakley' windscreen evokes a fighter's cockpit, and the cab-forward stance is not so much an aggressive one as purposeful. Some might say that true 'supercars' have preferences for V10 and V12 engine configurations, something more removed from what can be found in more common production vehicles. That the engine is totally bespoke and contains the rarest and hardest materials known to man. That they require the most advanced dual clutch, semi automated manual, millisecond shifting mechanism. That only a fully computerised all-wheel drive traction system is suitable to contain all those rampant horses.

But like robbing a security vault I suppose there are many different ways to get the result you want. Do it the Thomas Crown way with a nice suit and using your brain, or by using a sawn-off Mossberg 500, a pair of tights and screaming, "SHAAAAATTTT AAPPPPPPPP!!!"

Instead of the bejewelled lightness of a Zonda, technical precision of a 959 or the 'pack-twice-as-much-in' power of a Veyron, von Koenigsegg asked his team to re-engineer a standard Ford V8, strap on a Lysholm supercharger, bolster a VW clutch in, install a cricket bat-sized aluminium manual shifter, sparsely decorate the cabin and top it off with an aerodynamically efficient, yet bland, carbon shell.

However, for a very brief moment it was the fastest production car in the world. With the 806 bhp from the 4.7 litre engine, it took the record from the McLaren F1 set at the Nardo. It looks, and on paper seems, less sophisticated than it's rivals, less exotic if you were, but this doesn't tell the full story. A great exercise in using more commonly available parts and ideas, dispensing with extreme technologies, 53 were made before the firm moved towards the newer CCX and CCXR.

Oh, funny story: in my very first job I worked for a bank. Shortly afterwards, I played regularly for their football team in the banking leagues. Before one game, getting ready, 'Jimmy' was as usual holding court. A big guy, a centre back. Very old school, broken nose and lots of tattoos. Always laughing and teasing, I gathered the courage to talk to him in front of the others.

"'Jimmy', what did you before you joined the bank? (He was about 40)"
'Ha, I robbed banks. Including this f***er!!! [cackle cackle]'

Everybody laughed, and the older boys in the team already knew the deal. I think employee security checks are a lot more stringent these days.....